In the Same Boat (Literally)

An update on my dizziness/vertigo/boat-rocking-sensation issues: This past Monday (Oct. 25) I went for a follow-up with an ENT at MUSC. It was. . .interesting, to say the least. The doctor was a bit weird, for one thing. For example, he went off on this really long rant about how he's stocking up on incandescent light bulbs and we should too, because before you know it, they're all going to be gone! And then what will we do! Stuff like that. Anyway. . . after sitting in a germ-infested waiting room for forever freaking out because I couldn't find my hand sanitizer, I finally got in to see the doctor. He came in and made me do some weird things, like marching in place with my eyes closed (during which I veered sharply to the left), having my head whipped around in different directions while lying flat on a table, and having a tuning fork vibrated against my head (?). And yeah, that last part felt really bizarre.

We tried to explain the situation to the doctor, but he really liked to hear himself talk and wasn't so good with the listening. Also he had apparently convinced himself ahead of time that my problem was not an ear problem, but that it was somehow caused by migraines (which I get pretty infrequently these days). He actually wanted me to see a neurologist about this, which I am not doing, because that would be stupid, since I don't have a problem with migraines.

In the end, I left feeling very frustrated because this appointment was similar to so many others. The conclusion was that my dizziness "could be caused by this, or it could be caused by that" and "this might help, or that might help" but "there's not much we can do." I was sent home with a sheet of Cawthorne-Cooksey exercises for my eyes. (I have done these before, though not as extensively, so maybe the extended version will help.) I am also supposed to be going back to physical therapy, and the doctor suggested I try the PT for at least 6 months (in the meantime, there was of course some sort of confusion about the referral so now I have to sort that out).

I left feeling very downhearted. (My mood did not improve when I was nearly mugged in the MUSC parking garage, but that is a whole different story.) I manage pretty well these days, but living life on an imaginary boat is not really ideal and it does restrict me and cause problems with certain tasks. It also makes me worry about being inadequate in taking care of Gemma. I really fear that one day the room will just start tilting and I will drop her or something equally bad will happen. I also worry that people think I am a hypochondriac because there is nothing tangibly wrong with me, and I function pretty well. Anyway. . .still very frustrated and could really use some prayer that the PT and the eye exercises will help. At this point, even the slightest improvement would be a welcome relief.