The Feeding Nightmare Continues

After much coercion and a lot of horrible face-making, gagging, and vomiting, we finally got Gemma to start eating bottles of half soy formula and half breastmilk. It was still very clear that she strongly disliked the taste of the soy formula, but we were hopeful that she would eventually get used to it, and she was at least eating it. Things seemed to be going well. . .until we realized she hadn't had a single bowel movement since we started giving her the soy formula. Even though she was still getting half breastmilk, the soy was still really affecting her digestion. We started her on the soy formula Tuesday evening. On Friday afternoon, I called the pediatrician. I spoke with a nurse who told me to give Gemma one half to one teaspoon of dark Karo syrup 3 times a day if she hadn't had a dirty diaper in the next 24 hours. She didn't. We tried the Karo. Nothing happened. We switched back to giving her straight breastmilk. Nothing happened. It is now Monday morning and she has not had a bowel movement since last Tuesday morning. We are calling the pediatrician again to see what the next step is. Gemma is now at the point where she won't even eat because her tummy is so backed up.

And again I am feeling the extreme mom-guilt. I am back to pumping regularly every few hours because I feel so terrible that my decision to switch Gemma to formula is causing her so many issues. I am planning to keep her solely on breastmilk again even though it is a painful experience for me. Nothing else seems to work for my little girl and I'd rather I be the one suffering. I'm hoping that since I've made it through to this point, I can make it through to six months where it will ease up a bit when she starts on solid foods and starts requiring less milk. I also have probably 200+ ounces stocked away in the freezer and I am blessed with a plentiful supply so hopefully I can keep putting some away every day and then I can wean earlier but continue to give her breastmilk. That one-year mark is a long way off - I guess I will just set small goals and take it one day at a time and just keep reminding myself that it is for sweet little Gemma.